Enlisted Humor

"Cadets say the funniest things"
My unit trains ROTC Cadets every summer. This last summer I spent a grueling month at Ft. Lewis,WA. . Being instructors for an assault course our job was to teach them basic combat skills, i.e., shoot, move and communicate. The course itself consisted of some rather difficult obstacles including rope bridges, wire obstacles and so forth. One day we were given an especially unmotivated group of cadets. A particular member of this group was being very difficult. He was laying under one of the wire obstacles, just laying there. Finally, after a few minutes of watching him lay there I asked him what was wrong. His reply come back " Sergeant, I think that we should do job oriented training." Finding this rather humorous, being a clerk, I asked him what he was going to do for the Army. "Jag Corps, Sergeant". Unbelieving at what I had just heard I got down at ground level with this cadet and told him, " Cadet, I spent eight weeks at basic training learning this stuff and this is my third week of instructing it." He asked me what that had to do with him. I said " cadet, do you know what I do for the Army?" He said no, of course. I told him that I was a clerk. Staring at me like I had just killed his dog, he very hurriedly moved out.
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"The 1st Sgt and the Inspection"
I enlisted in the Army and attended basic training at Ft. Leonardwood, MO. At Ft. Leonardwood the females lived in rooms instead of bays like the males because there were so few of us. During the 7th week of basic training our platoon had a practice inspection before the Col. would actually do it. So at the time the 1st Sgt. Lee was pretending to be the Lt.Col. I had 2 room mates who feared this man very much....they called him BIG BIRD because he was soooooo tall and had a harsh voice. 1st Sgt. came in and inspected our room and of course fragile females that we were we could not get the dust behind our wall lockers. The 1st Sgt. very loudly pointed this out to us after he moved all of our wall lockers like they were nothing. Apparently this had scared Pvt. X. and Pvt. Z. They stood at attention until they knew that the 1st Sgt. was inspecting the males. After some time of the 1st Sgt. inspecting the males, all three of us had to go to the latrine really bad. So while the 1st Sgt. was inspecting the males, we snuck out of our quarters to go to the latrine. We were half way to the latrines when we heard the 1st Sgt's thunderous footsteps come our way so we ran back to our quarters. Pvt. X Pvt. Z. were so scared of getting caught that they hid in their wall lockers, leaving me there all by myself to explain to the first Sgt. why my battle buddies were not where he had left them when he inspected us. The 1st Sgt. asked me where they were and all I could do was point to the wall lockers Soon after the inspection, the 1st Sgt. wanted to talk to all the females in the company and wanted to tell them not to be intimidated by him just because he is a tall man and also stated that he will try to talk softer to the females from now on.(something that could not be achieved no matter how hard he tried.)
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