Feminine Humor

"MaidenForm Woman"
This might be one of those "you just have to be there" stories,,, I dunno.

Well all war stories, start with: "No Sh_ _ , there I was" ... assigned as the Manifest Officer for the Battalion's Deployment for Reforger. A simple job really - just make sure everyone gets on the appropriate aircraft. I was looking hard core with all that gear hanging off me and the weapon hanging down at my side but as I always did for field exercises, underneath I wore a lacy bra... my secret !! I always kept a part of my femininity when in uniform.

My memory is growing foggy but ...we stopped for a few hours in Iceland. Finally it was time to continue our journey.. like going on a trip with a vanload of kids, everyone suddenly had to make a pit stop before loading.... Finally, I checked everyone off of the list on my handy dandy camouflage clipboard. (I certainly looked official, I'm sure.) Everyone, that is, except my boss, the S-3. (Last out of the bathroom ) Although he hadn't checked with me at our original point of departure to make sure that everyone was accounted for, he decided to make sure this time. I had just briefed the S-1. So he came over to me and more formal than usual, asked for a briefing. I started giving it to him then stopped when I noticed a funny grin on his face... "Is there something wrong, Sir?" I asked. "Uhhh Captain.." he began slowly, " what is that... that... thing sticking out from the top of your T shirt?" I looked down and to may dismay I saw that the lace from my bra was showing... apparently with all the gear I was wearing, I couldn't feel that it had become unattached... Fortunately, I thought quick and just said it was a chemise I always wore to help pad my chest when we wore heavy gear. I was able to pull it down nonchalantly.....and had to be watchful that it wouldn't come up again until I could rehook.

Moral of the story: On field exercises, ALWAYS STICK WITH THE 18 HOUR BRA
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"The Army Way to Fold A Bra"
I enlisted in the Army on February 20, 1975 and took basic training at Fort McClellan, Alabama. My drill sergeant was a man. I'll never forget the day he taught us how to set up our wall and foot lockers. As you all can remember, there is a place for everything and everything in its place. He showed us where to place our soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, etc and then showed us where to place our sanitary supplies. His first mistake was pointing out that they were "optional". Well we all started to giggle and he got red in the face. Then we moved on to the footlocker. He taught us how to make our socks and pantyhose smile. Ok. But then came the bra. He was so hard to explain how to fold a bra the Army way without actually touching one. What a comedy routine. Now by this time we were all in stitches and he
was really red in the face and told us "Ladies, this is serious business!" Finally he couldn't take it any more and walked out. Shortly after one of the meanest women drill sergeants came in and finished the job. We were really in trouble then.
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