Enlistment/Divorce

[plunginm]

I have been in the process of a divorce for over a year now. My (hopefully) soon to be ex has decided to enlist in the navy. He stated at our last meeting that if I don't agree to his demands in the divorce and he is fully enlisted before our divorce is finalized that I will not be able to divorce him until he is done with all of his training. Any ideas on how this all works????

[bromero]

What kind of demands is he making? Do you have children? I recently went through a divorce that took more than a year. He can tell you all he wants and threaten to take longer, but I would not give in because he'll be gone for 8 weeks. If he doesn't get divorced before he joins he'll have to claim you as a dependent which means he'll get paid more because of you. If that happens to be the case, you bring it up to the court and ask for alimony. Once he joins the Navy all you have to do is contact his Personnel Support Detachment (PSD) where he is stationed or even Navy Legal and let them know that he's claiming you even though you are no longer together, and worst of all, not providing you with any support (which is what dependent pay is for). Unless you have an urgent reason to divorce him I wouldn't recommend giving in to his demands because he joins the military. Do you have a lawyer? I would get a lawyer (I know the costs seem like too much) that can help you figure out what to do. Even just paying $60-$100 for a one time consultation with a lawyer would be worth it. Some states even have a low-income program to help with these kinds of issues if you qualify. Just take it from me... don't ever let your ex-spouse threaten you or make you feel like he has the upper hand on anything because he's in the military. I'm active duty Navy and can tell you that the Navy will hold him accountable for any legal issues that he doesn't tell them about. If you need any more inside info as far as Navy Regulations concerning spouses or dependents let me know. Hope this helps.

[kl1980]

If the divorce doesn't go through before he leaves for basic training, he can ask the court to postpone any court dates until he is through training. I agree with the post above, if everything gets delayed you'll wind up with some spousal support. It seems very unlikely that he'd be allowed to enlist when he is still involved in a court case, though, so if I were in your shoes I'd call his recruiter and make certain they know what's going on.